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Tue, May. 2nd, 2006, 12:46 am
[Hikaru no Go] Fic: Memoirs of a Go Player, Part 2

Hey, we're getting close to May 5, HikaGo Day! Time to start polishing up the half-finished fics on my hard drive. Not that the following story has anything to do with May 5.

Title: Memoirs of a Go Player, Part 2
Fandom: Hikaru no Go

Characters: Shindou, Touya
Genre: Epistolary Humour
Spoilers: Vague ones for some events near the end of the series, but nothing soul-shattering.
Summary: The diary of Shindou Hikaru--that is, if he were stalked by a certain obsessive rival. Makes more sense if you've read Part 1.

Memoirs of a Go Player
Part 2

June 7

Played Yashiro today. Was looking forward to a first-hand tengen or better yet a 5-5, but he just gave me some line about "not being ready for that stage yet." The hell? What's a guy got to do to get a little action around here?

My favourite yellow boxers still haven't shown up. Who would steal my dirty yellow No. 5 underwear with my sweat all over it? It's not like the old farts at Touya's salon would want that kind of thing, right? Then again, they're always panting after "young Touya-sensei"...okay, now my mind is going to bad places.


June 12

Touya made it to the Gosei semi-finals. Bully for him. He just had to brag about it right after I lost to him in a really close game! Damn it damn it damn it he makes me so mad sometimes and my hand would have worked except (I hate to admit it) Touya out-read me. Damn it.


June 14

Beat Ochi today by 6.5 moku, yeah! Though it was only a practice game. Waya was all jealous because he lost to Ochi last week in a real match. He said something weird about not wanting to win because he kept thinking about what Ochi does when he loses. I said you mean how he consoles himself in the bathroom? Waya said it was something like that. He's always avoiding the bathrooms at the Institute nowadays.

Whatever. He was just making excuses for losing.


June 15

If anyone ever picked up this journal and started reading they'd probably think I'm from an insane asylum the way I keep mentioning the Institute. Just to set the record straight: it's the Japanese Go Institute not an insane asylum (though sometimes I wonder if they're the same thing).

Waya said he thought he saw someone tailing me today but I think he's just paranoid about his match against Isumi-san next week. Got to make daddy proud and all.


June 17

Sometimes Touya looks way too pretty to be a boy. When he uses chopsticks I always think he's going to put them in his hair or something, he holds them all delicate-like. Weirdo.


June 20

Touya is such a weirdo. Have I mentioned that lately? Well, here it is. TOUYA AKIRA IS A FREAKING WEIRDO.

I was trying to encourage Isumi-san when he was playing against Ashiwara-san and Touya was all like he's gonna LOSE LOSE LOSE. I know Ashiwara-san's in his study group but LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. And then he kept yelling so much that we got kicked out of the Institute! It was worse than when Ichikawa-san almost threw us out last week.

But I bet Touya was more embarrased than me. Serves him right.


June 21

Kuwabara-san, just go away.


July 2

Ogata-san, just go away.

That said, I accepted his invitation to his apartment for "Go-related activities." Who is he kidding? At least I'll get his good sake.

I still can't believe I agreed to go. I'm such an idiot, I'll do anything to piss Touya off. It was almost worth it, his face was starting to look as green as his hair.


July 3

So much for "Go-related activities." Ogata-cheap-bastard-san gave me cheap beer while he chugged the expensive stuff. At least I got to beat him. At Go, that is. He kept asking if I know whether Ashiwara-san likes him. Or he might have been saying Kuwabara-san, I couldn't really tell, I was pretty sloshed by that point and he was playing his Prince CD too loud.

I kept getting this creepy feeling of being watched, but Ogata-san said that it was probably just the old lady who lives in the next building over. Apparently she likes to spy on him. Ick.


July 4

Mom was saying she thinks she saw an intruder with binoculars in the trees again. Ha ha, kind of like the old lady who spies on Ogata-san. 

Mom also keeps saying that my underwear is going missing off the clothesline but I think she just wants some excitement in her life. I should buy her a dog or something, she needs more to do.


July 5

I keep getting this itchy feeling at the back of my neck. I hope I'm not getting a rash.


July 6

You know what I noticed about Kurata-san and Waya? They both have pretty good instincts but they're about as dense as a pile of bricks. Kind of like mindless wild animals or something...well, I'm probably being too hard on Waya.

Anyway, Waya and Isumi-san finally admitted their undying love for one another today. Same old, same old.


July 15

Isumi-san and Waya should stop making out in the Room of Profound Darkness. There are cameras in there. Wonder if they're into that kind of stuff. Don't really want to know. I'm not gonna be able to play matches in there if they keep doing that.

And I've got to stop agreeing to stand on guard for them. I'm starting to feel like a pimp. Or at least a third wheel.


July 21

Ichikawa-san, just go away.


July 23

OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY.


July 24

Crud, Touya's back to normal.


July 25

TOUYA IS SUCH A PUTZ.

Where the hell does he get off accosting me in the middle of the goddamn lunch room in front of everyone and demanding what my feelings toward him are? This is just like how he used to pop up out of nowhere at Haze.

I'm gonna talk to Akari tomorrow about why the hell she was talking to Touya about my love life.


July 26

Akari said the one Touya likes is me?

Stupid Touya is playing in the Meijin league so I couldn't get to him today.


July 27

God he has a busy schedule. I'll talk to him tomorrow.


July 29

It's weird, Touya is usually popping up all over the place when I don't want him to and now I can't find him at all.


July 31 

Touya told me he likes me back. He told me he likes me back!

Um, does this mean we're dating? I think it does. I kind of broke up with him when he insulted me after I lost a game to him, but then I called him later to let him apologize. So I think we're dating.

Winner: me!

Now, if only I could find my yellow boxer shorts.

 

- End -

Back to Part 1




Author's notes:

This story is dedicated to harumi, who suggested I write one of these things for Hikaru. I SWEAR this is the last chapter.


Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 11:42 am (UTC)
marksykins

So cute! I love your Hikaru voice here. His poor underwear!

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 08:26 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Thanks! I found it harder to write Hikaru than Akira (for once), if only because Akira has better grammar.

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 08:04 pm (UTC)
shinra_lackey

Waya was all jealous because he lost to Ochi last week in a real match. He said something weird about not wanting to win because he kept thinking about what Ochi does when he loses. I said you mean how he consoles himself in the bathroom?

YOU MUST HATE ME MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!!!!

Now I have Ochi porn inside my head where he's wanking off and fantasizing about the players who've beaten him. It's really bad, over the top porn too. Ochi is the Dom of the go world, complete with black leather outfit and whip. There are submissive Hikaru, Isumi, Akira, Ogata-sensei, etc. kneeling at his feet. In little maid outfits.

And because I had that disturbing mental image, you must have it too. Yup.

Ficwise, I am deeply amused by Hikaru's continual 'just go away.' I love the fact that he's aware that everyone except Akira is stalking him for nefarious purposes.

And Isumi and Waya in the Room of Profound Darkness! The hotness! And isn't it funny that I almost don't want them in there because they're sullying a room dedicated to go? Ahahaha.

Um, and someone has to write Hikaru no Go in a mental institute now. Just saying. That means you, flonnebonne

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THAT IMAGE NOT ME AND NOW I HAVE TO GO SCOUR MY BRAIN WITH A BRUSH AND I HATE YOU FOREVER.

Seriously, you are one crazy chica. I never, ever would have come up with that image myself. *cries*

Nuh uh, there is no way am I writing Hikaru no Mental Institute. No way. Since it was your suggestion you should have the privilege of writing it. That said, I am seriously thinking of writing a crack fic about the Go world being like an esoteric cult with lots of crazy obsessive people in it and with Weekly Go as its sacred text. Damn, crack is so distracting.

Come to think of it, I've seen a fic or two in which Hikaru was put in a mental institute, but those were SERIOUS fics.

Sun, Jun. 25th, 2006 02:51 am (UTC)
svz_insanity

Oh my god.

... I WROTE YOUR FIC AT WORK WITHOUT EVER SEEING YOUR COMMENT UNTIL TWO MINUTES AGO WHEN I LOOKED THROUGH YOUR WANKLESS POST.

Tue, Jun. 27th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

THAT'S BECAUSE OUR MINDS OUR JOINED VIA TELEPATHIC LINK AND I OBVIOUSLY WATCH/READ TOO MUCH X-MEN.

Well, what are you waiting for? Post the fic! Gimme gimme gimme! It's like my wish came true.

Um, you're talking about the Go cult fic, and not Hikaru no Mental Institute, right? Because shinra_lackey already wrote that one.

Damn, the telepathic link isn't working properly now.

I've actually been thinking about writing an Uncyclopedia.org entry about Hikaru no Go using the Go cult ideas. Uncyclopedia is like Wikipedia except on crack, and it's full of lies. I love that site. There's already a funny article about Go there: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Go.

...btw, you manage to write at work between dealing with knife-wielding children and angry customers? I'm impressed!

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 06:55 am (UTC)
issen4

When he uses chopsticks I always think he's going to put them in his hair or something,

Speaking as someone who puts chopsticks in her hair... *starts laughing*

This is a great chapter! Love the recurring mystery of Hikaru's underwear and the way he seems to get stalked by everyone.

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Yay, glad you liked!

Speaking as someone who is incapable of doing fancy stuff with her hair, I salute you!

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 09:38 am (UTC)
qem_chibati

OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY.

I was already giggling, but this sent me into a coughing fit of laughter.

What I really loved about both these pieces, is that even though its a parody, the voices just seem so real and recognisable, its an exageration, its still taps into things from the series, which just makes it so hilarious.

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Hee hee! A lot of people seem to like that line (because it's so true!).

Thank you for the vote of confidence regarding Hikaru and Akira's voices. Hikaru was kind of hard to pin down but I think I got it eventually. :)

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)
harumi

*sends you tons of love and HUGS*

EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *_______________*

This was beautiful. I'm in love.

OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY.

Perfect.

Played Yashiro today. Was looking forward to a first-hand tengen or better yet a 5-5, but he just gave me some line about "not being ready for that stage yet." The hell? What's a guy got to do to get a little action around here?

This only highlights just how much go and sex are intertwined in Hikago. Brilliant.

You're so GOOD at this stuff. Thank you!

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

*sends you love and hugs in return* Glad you enjoyed, and thank you for the kind words. :)

It's just so easy to turn Go talk into sex talk--everyone is SO obsessed and bombastic in this series.

Ah ha ha, and BTW this story is all your fault.

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 07:01 pm (UTC)
harumi

*fully takes blame with a self-satisfied smile*

Wed, May. 3rd, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
elektra3

Anyway, Waya and Isumi-san finally admitted their undying love for one another today. Same old, same old.

*cracks up*

I know this is a parody, but I can totally see Hikaru saying it like this.

And:

OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY.

Thu, May. 4th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
flonnebonne

Oooh, you have a nice NetGo icon.

Thanks for the kind comments! I'm glad Hikaru sounds in-character...even in a parody the characters have to be themselves. :)

Wed, May. 10th, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC)
juin

So many great lines. Winner: you. ♥

Wed, May. 10th, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Winner: your icon.

Thanks. ^_^

Sun, Jun. 25th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
svz_insanity

I can't believe I missed this!~

Oh, this is brilliant. I want to shower you with praises and elaborate compliments that compare your genius to... uh, someone really really smart but I can't seem to stop laughing long enough.

Played Yashiro today. Was looking forward to a first-hand tengen or better yet a 5-5, but he just gave me some line about "not being ready for that stage yet." The hell? What's a guy got to do to get a little action around here?

Oh, Hikaru. *shakes head, laughing*

OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY.

DEAD. OH SO VERY DEAD. I can picture him saying something like this in the series.

Tue, Jun. 27th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Even your icon is raping my childhood! *weeps*

Hee, thank you for your compliments! Hikaru is such a brat, isn't he? How I love him.

Fri, Jun. 30th, 2006 08:55 am (UTC)
everysecondtues

*still laughing* Wow, both of these are hilarious. Just . . . *giggles* wonderful.

Sat, Jul. 1st, 2006 01:35 am (UTC)
flonnebonne

Hee. Thanks and glad you enjoyed!

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:59 am (UTC)
she_universe

*brain goo*

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 12:24 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

*mops up your brain*
(Deleted comment)

Mon, May. 19th, 2008 09:29 am (UTC)
flonnebonne

There is no such thing as a late comment in my book! I really love getting comments on older fics.

Thank you so much! *blush* It was a very fun fic to write, and I'm glad you got some giggles out of it. :)

Thu, Dec. 18th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
kurifurinkan

Okay okay I know this is horribly late but.

I read this when it came out, but I didn't have a journal then. Now I do. So I had to comment, because even though I first read this over two years ago (shit, was it really that long?)it, it still made me laugh so hard. For serious, I think I just ruptured my spleen----

ow.

Just.
OH MY GOD. TOUYA WAS WEARING CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY MATCHED TODAY. NO WONDER HE LOOKED SO CRANKY. and, and, chopsticks and, and He kept asking if I know whether Ashiwara-san likes him. Or he might have been saying Kuwabara-san, I couldn't really tell,and, ohgod, please allow this unworthy one to bow AT YOUR FEET.

Just. This is being shuttled straight off to my memories, along with the prequel.Just. ♥ ♥ ♥

(Fail comment is fail.)

Mon, Dec. 22nd, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Flail comment is flail is makes me happy. :)

I feel so honored that you remembered my fic for two years and took the effort to comment after so long! But you know, anonymous comments are perfectly acceptable too. And there is no such thing as a late comment. :)

Thank you so much! You made my day.

Fri, Dec. 19th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
painless_j

So funny! I particularly liked the bits about stalking with binoculars, in both parts. And that Hikaru thought he should buy a dog for his mother. Lolsome! Thank you!

Mon, Dec. 22nd, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne

Glad you liked!

(You know, maybe Hikaru really SHOULD buy a dog for his mother. Not even joking here. The poor woman needs a companion.)

Sun, Mar. 1st, 2009 04:42 am (UTC)
chainey_clink: you have been cursed with stalkers, hikaru!

:cracks up: Oh, poor boy. I laughed so hard at the three just go aways.

Winner: me! Ah... My face is red from laughing so much. How can he not notice his one single most dedicated stalker? HE'S RIGHT THERE, HIKARU. Right there.

Wonderful little fic. I needed something cute and funny like this before going to sleep.

Tue, Mar. 3rd, 2009 08:30 am (UTC)
flonnebonne: Hikaru secretly likes the stalkers

Heh, glad you enjoyed! I think Hikaru doesn't notice Touya stalking him becaues Hikaru stalks Touya just as much in his head, really.

Wed, Mar. 4th, 2009 11:05 pm (UTC)
chainey_clink: who doesn't, really

That actually makes a lot of sen-- :sees your icon: Oh wow. <3

Tue, Jul. 20th, 2010 07:02 pm (UTC)
bitter_crimson

LOLZ 4EVER @ BOTH OF THESE TWO. AHAHAHAHA.

And your one comment on the first part is so right, haha, idek either if Touya is more or LESS obsessed here than in canon. XD XD XD

Wed, Jul. 21st, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
flonnebonne: lollerskates!

Always happy to provide some LOLs! Touya really IS a stalker, isn't he? His part kind of wrote itself right out of canon.